May 8, 2005
Raleigh, NC
Panic?
Panic. Such a strong word. Why say “panic” instead “heightened self-awareness” or “acute actualization of one’s surroundings?” It wouldn’t change anything but it sounds more dignified when I’m running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off trying to finish everything up.
We have about thirty-six hours before we have to leave Raleigh and start heading to Minnesota. There are still lots of loose ends to tie up, cut off, or ignore altogether. That list is getting shorter, as are the days till we’ll be on the river. All that stands between us and the water is to pack up the rest of the apartment before tomorrow night, turn in the last bit of schoolwork, send emails to sponsors, update the website, forward our mail, double check the gear…
Today’s been pretty busy. I’ve sewn a stuff sack for the sail, sealed the tent seams, and separated things from the “to go” pile to the “I don’t know what to do with this but it’s not coming” pile. I’ve also sewn up the crotch of a well-worn pair of pants. Those pants have been good buddies to me. I wore them for a good part of my thru-hike and have barely taken them off since. I’ve resewn them as they’ve become unraveled, and watched as they’ve slowly begun their final journey back to their poly-fibered roots. I just hope when the time comes I can let go and give them the proper and dignified send off they deserve. Something noble, like a Viking funeral, not just left in the trash like yesterday’s news.
Time to get to get my heightened sell-aware butt in gear and tackle some more projects. I’ve got about as much self-awareness as I can stand right now.
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