September 25, 2005
Raleigh, NC
I am used to air conditioning. I am used to a bed. My heart is with the river and the people that are dealing with the massive Hurricanes this season. We had a trouble with Dennis, Emily and Franklin threatening to end our trip. It was a much more severe issue with area residents this season.
It is such a strange thing to think that areas we passed through only two months ago (in two days it will be two months since we finished).
Updating the website and getting it clean has been something I think about, but haven’t gotten to. Once we were finished paddling we had a few more days that time and life went at it’s own pace. Soon all of the roles, duties and obligations of the world were rushing to us, the water of our lives quickly raced to high tide. It is only a Sunday, day of reflection, that I have the pause to write a bit. I intend to slowly fill in with my pen and paper journal all of the times where now there is a larger break in days.
What happened over 73 days from Minnesota to Louisiana I remember in two ways. First it is as separate events pieces people and feelings that are each distinct. Second I remember the trip as one unit. Everyday now is an extension of who I am with this trip.
I learned a lot about myself and I don’t know what else to describe. I guess I learned a little bit about a lot of little things. About People. About the areas we passed through. About larger systems interacting with the river. I learned a lot about John. All of the pieces again make up a collective knowledge that I may never know when I will use it because it is such a mutable knowledge that feels like it comes from nowhere. The information will be called upon as I grow into it.
So, now that I am back into my routine at school the big question is: Have I changed?
Not at the core. None of my values have shifted in a way that will make your forehead wrinkle upon talking to me. I can be taken in public. What has changed is part of my approach. I am a bit more reflective in a purposeful way and a bit calmer. I like that. I have been given a bit of pause.
Have a wonderful day!
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